genealogy

A little girl asked her mother,"How did the human race appear?"
The mother answered, "God made Adam took one of his ribs and made Eve. They lived in the Garden of Eden till a snake gave Eve an applewhich she and Adam took a bite from and they were thrown out into the world naked and alone. They had children and so was all mankind made."
Two days later the girl askedher father the same question. The father answered, "Many years ago there were monkeys from which the human race evolved."
The confused girl returned to her mother and said,"Mom, how is it possible that you told me the human race was created by God, and Dad said they evolved from monkeys?"
The mother answered, "Well,dear, it is very simple. I told you about my side of the family and your father told you about his."

money

An elderly man took his little grandson for a walk around the local cemetery.
Pausing before one gravestone, he said, "There lies a very honest man. He died owing me 50 pounds, but he struggled to the end to pay off his debts and if anyone has gone to Heaven, he has."
They walked on a bit farther and then came to another grave.
The old man pointed to the gravestone and said, "Now, there's a different type of man altogether. He owed me60 pounds and he died without ever trying to pay me back. If anyone has goneto Hell, he has."
The little boy thought for awhile and then said, "You know, Granddad, you are very lucky."
"Why"? asked the old man insurprise.
"Well, whichever place you go to, you'll have some money waiting when you get there!"

ugly

A bus carrying only ugly people crashes into an oncoming truck, and everyone inside dies. They then get to meet their maker, and because of the grief they have experienced;He decides to grant them one wish each, before they enter Paradise.
They're all lined up, and God asks the first one what the wish is.
"I want to be gorgeous," and so God snaps His fingers, and it is done.
The second one in line hearsthis and says "I want to be gorgeous too."
Another snap of His fingers and the wish is granted.
This goes on for a while but when God is halfway down the line, the last guy in line starts laughing. When there are only ten people left, this guy is rolling on the floor, laughing. Finally, God reaches this guy and asks him what his wish will be.
The guy calms down and says, "Make 'em all ugly again."

tomato

Master: Suppandi go and get one tomato. Remember to get it from the place you get it the cheapest.
That night-
Master: Suppandi I had only told you get one tomato, what took youso long?
Suppandi: I had caught a train and had gone to a village 100 miles from here which grows tomatoes. There they were the cheapest.
LOLz!!!!

mirror

Master: Go to the market and get a mirror so that i can see my face and shave!!
Suppandi: Yes master!!Goes to the market and returns home without a mirror.
Master: Why didn't you get a mirror?
Suppandi: Because in all the mirrors i could see only my face.
:D :P :)))

solid expands on heating

Master- Suppandi, Cook me some Macaroni for lunch.
Suppandi- Yes,Sir !
Shortly,
Suppandi- Master, The macaroni is becoming bigger and longer.
Master- Oh god , what a fool !
But its natural Suppandi, Solids Expand on heating !
Suppandi- OK master , Now i get it!
Later,
Master- Suppandi, What are you doing ?
Suppandi- I'M boiling my old clothes, They do not fit me any more .
Since solids expand on heating, i hope they will become bigger. !!!
Ha Ha Ha....

coin

A typical engineering student grabbed a coin,flipped it in d air n said "heads i go 2 sleep,
tails i watch a movie, If it stands ond edge i'll study"
:D :P :)))

love story

Old Luv Story: Starts From Eyes Grows Wit Gifts Ends Wit Tears Modern Luv Story: Starts From Mobile Grows Wit Date Ends With Sim Change… ROFL!!

sun walk

The death of Micheal jackson is revealed
.
.
.
The day before he died
He saw Rajanikanths Dance
And he got shocked
.
.
.
Because rajani had performed “SUN WALK”
ROFL!!

swollen foot

Santa goes to the podiatrist with a swollen foot. After a careful examination, the doctor hands him a pill that looks big enough to choke ahorse. "I will be right back with some water," the doctor tellshim. The doctor has been gone a while, and Santa is losing hispatience. He hobbles outsideto the drinking fountain, forces the pill down his throat, and gobbles down water until the pill clears his throat. Santa then hobbles back into the examining room. Just then the doctor comes back with a bucket of warm water. "Ok, after the tablet dissolves, soak that foot for about 20 minutes."

swollen foot

Santa goes to the podiatrist with a swollen foot. After a careful examination, the doctor hands him a pill that looks big enough to choke ahorse. "I will be right back with some water," the doctor tellshim. The doctor has been gone a while, and Santa is losing hispatience. He hobbles outsideto the drinking fountain, forces the pill down his throat, and gobbles down water until the pill clears his throat. Santa then hobbles back into the examining room. Just then the doctor comes back with a bucket of warm water. "Ok, after the tablet dissolves, soak that foot for about 20 minutes."

swollen foot

Santa goes to the podiatrist with a swollen foot. After a careful examination, the doctor hands him a pill that looks big enough to choke ahorse. "I will be right back with some water," the doctor tellshim. The doctor has been gone a while, and Santa is losing hispatience. He hobbles outsideto the drinking fountain, forces the pill down his throat, and gobbles down water until the pill clears his throat. Santa then hobbles back into the examining room. Just then the doctor comes back with a bucket of warm water. "Ok, after the tablet dissolves, soak that foot for about 20 minutes."

parrot action

Santa went to an auction and bid for a parrot. Santa bid 1000 rupees, but someone else bid 2000. Santa bid 2500 rupees, but someone else bid 3000 Rupees. Santa bid 3500 rupees, but someone else bid 4000 Rupees. Santa was determined to buy the bird and put in a final bid of 4500 Rupees. This time there were no other bids and the parrot was sold to Santa. "That's a lot of money I've paid for this bird," said Santa to the auctioneer. "I hope he can talk." "Of course he can," replied the auctioneer. "Who do youthink was bidding against you?"